Awarness

So, it has come to my attention that a near and dear person has Narcolepsy. I was informed of this the other day, to which I also found out they are being put down and made fun of for it by family. Now let me just speak my mind. I have both Anxiety and Depression, which are considered mental illnesses. Narcolepsy is also considered a mental illness. DO NOT EVER AND I MEAN EVER, MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE FOR AN ILLNESS YOU CANNOT SEE! It’s not funny, it’s not a joke. Just because you physically cannot see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist! Nobody deserves to be treated that way. We all need a good support system filled with people who love us, who will be there for us, not people who put us down and belittle us for what we cannot control. Be kind to one another, everyone deserves it. So, I’ve made a Pinterest board which I will share here and pin at the top of the welcome page. Feel free to check it out, and to follow if you would like. It’s small right now, but I will be adding as I go. Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

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Dear little apartment

Dear little apartment,

Almost 3 years has gone by since I first stepped into your front door. Tomorrow night is our last night here, and I just wanted to reflect on the times we’ve had. You were Marcus and I’s first place that we called “home” together. Although there was a time that we almost lost the warmth and comfort of your tiny closed in walls, we managed to make it through. This was my first home away from my parents, and you made me feel safe. There’s been so many good memories here that I don’t think I can write them all but I’ll try. I became a wife here, a dog mom here (twice), a stay at home wife and dog mom here, celebrated Marcus and I’s first Valentine’s Day, Christmas, anniversaries, and birthdays here. I remember when Marcus and I didn’t have a lot of money (I was working he was looking for work), and I came home to him inside the bathroom running me a bubble bath in the tub I’ve come to love. Granted we’ve had bad memories here too, but the good definitely outweighs them. Our tiny corner of the world we liked to call you. The kitchen is small, the living room is crammed, but I will never ever lose the love I have for this tiny place I call home. Thank you for being ours for almost 3 good years of my life. Dear tiny apartment…..we love you.

Love always,

The Merricks

Addressing the issue

I wanted to talk a little more today about Toby’s pica. If you guys missed the blog about it, Toby has pica and I will leave the link as well as some others down below for you to check out. Pretty much when he gets too bored or anxious or even scared, he “self soothes” with eating things that shouldn’t be eaten. You’ve read about him eating socks, shirts, his blanket etc well that is exactly what pica is for him. We’ve been working with him a lot to try and teach him that he needs to eat his food and treats we give him. Everyday, Marcus comes home from work and takes him on a run so he can get out of the house. We give him pedialyte (that’s right, dogs can have it), chamomile honey popsicles or chamomile tea (yes they can have that too), or his chill out treats if we are out of popsicles. He’s back on his regular food and he is doing a lot better. He was so sick for the first while that all he could eat was rice and chicken broth. Pica for Toby doesn’t happen all the time we’ve noticed, it’s just those situations where he feels too stressed or bored. Toby is a really good dog, I just wish we would have known about this sooner so we were better prepared. Anyway, he is doing so much better now and I am thankful that we have found some solutions in helping him. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

https://vanillaandbean.com/honey-chamomile-popsicles/

https://yourolddog.com/chamomile-dogs-safely-use/

http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/pets/dog-behavior/pica-eating-things-that-aren%E2%80%99t-food

Heartache

It’s been a really tough day today. Woke up still sick, and then get a call from my mom telling me that a cousin I was very close with died this morning. I’ve been crying on and off today, and it’s pretty much been a blur since this morning/afternoon. Marcus and I packed up all our dinner stuff and the dogs and took it to my parents so we could try and aid their suffering with homemade tomato bacon bisque soup and reuben sandwiches. This was literally so sudden and unexpected that it took us all by surprise. On the bright side of things, Marcus will more then likely be clearing a $1,000 check next week. He’s been working so much that it’s been hard to find time to spend together, but we do what we can. But now we are back at home, showered, and I’m back underneath my cocoon of blankets and pillows. I’m probably going to end up either making myself some tea, or have Marcus make me a cup since my joints and muscles are still pretty sore. Anyway, I’m going to stop this here before another wave of tears. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Happy mommy’s day

Happy mother’s day! We are at my parents house celebrating with my mom and oma today. I even got a card from Shatzie and Toby complete with a pawprint signature. I’ll leave the picture down below. What I really wanted to talk about and address this mother’s day though is the other types of mommies out there. There are fur mommies like myself who’s babies have four paws, mommies who have suffered the loss of having to give a baby back to heaven, and of course those of us who are trying to become mommies for the first time. Today is a day of appreciation for all mommies and we should include each and every one. Our time will come I promise. The journey is hard and trying. Through all the shots, temp taking, medication consummation, IVF, and so much more. I wanna especially thank my momma and my mom in law for being the best of the best. I love you guys and thank you so much for the unconditional love and support you’ve given. Anyway, I’m gunna continue to spend the day with my mommy. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love and happy mother’s day. 

Double down

I hate feeling like this. I hate the sinking feeling of being in a fight. It wasn’t a good start to my day seeing as I’m sick and didn’t sleep well. I’m babysitting at the moment and I am just ready to go home. I hate being overly exhausted and sick. I know I’m probably ranting and sounding bitchy, but that’s just today. That’s just me in a nutshell today. I wanna crawl back in bed and sleep it all away. Damn you depression. Damn you anxiety. Damn all of it. It’s been a constant low test reading too and that’s just not what I wanna see or read. I’m ready for today to just be over. Anyway, I am needing to go chase after my godson. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Life of a chef’s wife

I’m going to take the time out on this post and breakdown what this title means. I don’t really think a lot of people understand what it really means to be married to someone in the food industry, which in this case is meaning Marcus. Now I understand there are much more difficult jobs out there then his, but he doesn’t have it easy. So, let’s take a look at it from his point of view first okay?

To start things off with, there are long hours, sleep deprivation, not being paid what you are worth especially for everything you do, burns, cuts, chemical burns, sore knees, tired feet, inconsistent schedules. Though, at the end of it all I go to work loving what I do, knowing I excel at what I do. Needless to say this is not easy work. Yeah, sometimes it’s glamorous, eccentric, posh (hon hon hon). Take an event, or more correctly a banquet, for example 10-600 people, prepping the protein needs to be done at least 2 days in advance, orders need to be placed (sometimes $2,000+ for a single event), produce needs to be selected, desserts cut and plated (sometimes salad too). When you are one of 2 people doing all that those 10-12 hr days start piling up. On top of all that we are not even considering the home life (yes it is hard to have one but it can happen). All the time that you are prepping, slicing, mincing, chopping, pureeing, and baking your family is at home missing you, for me that means Mariah, Toby, and Shatzie. I will say I miss them too. I have no time with them sometimes because it is wake up, work, go home, shower, eat, sleep, notice the no family time? (ya sorta get REALLY burnt out sometimes). For now I’ll stop bending your ear and hand you over to main lady of this blog so you can hear her side.

Let me give you some insite on what it’s like to pretty much not have a husband (granted I do, he just works a ton). Let’s take a day in the life of a breakfast shift shall we? It starts out with Marcus having to be at work by 5 am, so he needs to stay up all night. I’m usually up all night with him until about 4:45 am when he leaves for work, even 4:30 am sometimes. Then, I have to sleep in a Queen sized bed all by myself with the exception of two dogs, who don’t produce near the amount of body heat and or comfort that Marcus does. He then gets home between 11:30-2 or sometimes later if he works the whole day. I’m usually just getting up around noon or so when he decides to lay down to sleep the rest of the day. Then, it’s take care of both dogs, myself, remember to take my meds, eat something, clean the house, make dinner if he hasn’t brought anything home, find something to do, and then wake him up which usually takes 2 hours or more since he’s exhausted. Sometimes I barely get in a good morning kiss or a good night kiss because of not having the luxury of seeing him. Being a stay at home dog mom/wifey is not by any means easy, glamourous, or a damn luxury. There’s bills to worry about, a house to keep up, a fridge to keep stocked, and above all else missing Marcus like crazy. We don’t get date nights, and if and when we do it’s so we have time to grocery shop together. I appreciate every little thing he does for us don’t get me wrong. I just realize that there are so many people who see our situation and think we’ve got it easy. We don’t. It’s not. So all in all, there is your glimpse of our life, and that’s not even everything. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.