The struggle is real…

Ovulation

I finally have some news! I ovulated for the very first time, and I caught it! Well, I don’t think it was the very first time, but the important thing is that I actually was aware and got it on time. That sorta explains why my period hasn’t arrived yet, and why I was having all those uncomfortable pains in my ovary. Anyway, our vitamin journey starts tomorrow, I stop my progesterone cream tomorrow, and then we wait and see what happens. I’m praying so hard right now that this is it. This is our month. I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to ovulate on time. I mean I cried for heaven’s sake (it was emotional, sue me). I also wanted to thank you guys for all the comments that have been coming in. You guys are awesome! This journey has taken a toll on the both of us, and it means a lot to have the support and love that we do. Anyway, this might become a short post seeing as how all I did today was clean the kitchen and hang out with Marcus after he got home. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

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The waiting game is still afoot

So for the past few days, I’ve had a green light on my Fertility Friend which means that I was fertile. Although we are still awaiting the arrival of shark week and having so much CM (cervical mucus) it’s crazy TMI I know, so no new developments there. I will be trying some extra vitamin C though if I don’t start by Thursday. Other than that, everything has been going pretty well. I found this video that really should be shared everywhere in my opinion. I’ll leave it down below so you guys can check it out. We are hoping that this actually happens soon and I don’t have to sit here and worry about if I’m actually going to have a period or not. The waiting is seriously so much on me I’m getting tired of it to be honest. But I’m in a better mood then I was yesterday because I did decide to test, and it came out as another no. Marcus jumped on the bandwagon though, and made me feel so much better that which I am grateful for. I think today will just be another lazy day unless Marcus secretly has something planned. Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Plan of attack

So we are still patiently awaiting the arrival of shark week. I stop my progesterone cream again this coming Thursday (for those of you who don’t know why I need it, there is a blog explaining the reason), and then have to wait to see if it will come on its own. I have been feeling pretty dizzy and nauseous today though (don’t worry I’ve been keeping myself hydrated), so I will be testing tomorrow morning if I don’t start by then. I’m at the point now though of actually wanting a period so we can begin to move forward with this whole thing. I got another green light on my Fertility Friend as well, so I guess we will see where that leads. It’s been a rollercoaster ride these past few days ever since the good news, but I know in the end it will all be worth it. That’s been my mantra forever, but maybe I should print it on a shirt or something (haha). I’m trying to keep the positive attitude as best as I can. We start vitamins this week hopefully, and so the saga continues. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe I should print that on a shirt too. Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Here we go

I was informed yesterday that Marcus has hit screw it (not his words, but you get the point). We were in the middle of the vitamin section in Wal-Mart, and talking about starting to take them. As I was picking up my melatonin and we were walking away, he looks at me and says “You know, I’ve pretty much hit f*** it.” I was surprised and decided to ask him what he meant. He then explained to me that I’m not going to be the only one paddling the baby boat anymore. He wants to start taking the vitamins and actually trying harder then we have been. As far as our big baby book goes, we will be looking more into that when we get our new place. All he asks of me is that I’m not shoving it into his face or down his throat, because sometimes I get too excited and can’t stop which I understand. I asked him last night what made him change his mind, and he told me that he’s seen his paychecks and how well we’ve been doing, and he thinks it’s kind of pointless to not try. He feels we are able to take care of another person, and I think (in my own opinion of course) he’s realizing that he wants a baby just as bad as I do. So, in other words, now we just wait for my period. We are doing this, this is real. I’m nervous and excited and scared all at the same time. I know he is too, but I know we got this. If I can ask for a little babydust our way, that would be so cool! Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Wits end

So I know I haven’t really updated you guys on our fertility journey, so I’m going to do that here. I’m currently on CD (cycle day) 43 and still awaiting my period. I’ve started temping again with my BBT (basal body temp) thermometer, and according to my Fertility Friend app, my temps fluctuate in normal levels, so I guess that’s a good thing. I’ve been having some right pelvic cramps that aren’t really painful, but more on the uncomfortable side. I think Marcus and I decided to start ourselves on Myo-X and some vitamins as well, but I’m not sure if that’s still the plan. I’ve had to start my progesterone cream once again as per instruction because no cycle yet. I’m still taking Vitex as well, so nothing has changed there. It’s been pretty rough on me so far. I’ve even taken a test to double check, and of course a big fat BFN (big freaking nope). I feel like I’m at my wits end some days, and today is one of those days. I try so hard not to get my hopes up when I don’t start my period, but it is super hard. I want Marcus and I to go get ourselves tested to make sure we are both okay, but I know that’s a ton of money without insurance. Things have just been an emotional rollercoaster for me today I guess, and I needed to take a minute and talk to you guys about it since I’m sure you’ve been wondering. Anyway, I should probably change and get ready to go since Marcus should be home soon. Thank you guys so much for all your love and support as always. Much love.

Incense

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend the day with my mom and two nieces. We headed up to Lava Hot Springs for the day just to get out of town for a bit. Our first stop was to eat lunch, which turned out to not be that great. After that, we walked around town stopping at the little shops and browsing. But besides the museum (we stopped in there too) and other little shops, my favorite stop of the day was in Purple Moon. They make their own incense, and my mom was kind enough to buy all of girls some. There were so many smells that it was hard to chose from. I always get a calming effect from walking into that store, it never fails. It’s like my happy place. After leaving there, we came back to Pocatello and decided to go into Hobby Lobby. My oldest niece has never been inside one, so it was her first time. I couldn’t believe how excited and in awe she was of all the things you could buy, especially fake floral stuff (she has a hippy heart and soul I swear). They even helped me pick out some cute stuff for my beauty room. After that, I was dropped off back home to find two furbabies excited to see me (and Marcus too after he woke up). I had made chili in the crock pot earlier, so that is what we had for dinner. We hung out, watched Star Wars, and finally drug ourselves to bed at a semi reasonable hour. Now I’m sitting here waiting for him to come home from work, so we can drop the dogs off at my parents and he can go help Papa with a new water heater. It turned out to be a really good day, and one that I’ve needed for awhile. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Random ramblings

So since Marcus has tomorrow off, I was thinking we could do a movie night tonight. I’m hoping he goes for the idea since he is out with Toby for his daily walk. He bought me a mouse today for my laptop since I’ve got a Mac. I’m not too sure what to even make for dinner tonight. The plan was meatloaf, but I’m looking at our thawed out ground beef and it just doesn’t sound good. I’m just feeling really blah today and I think it’s because of the weather to be honest. Baby stuff is still baby stuff, and not really much is going on there right now. I’m actually pretty bored sitting here by myself with Shatzie pup who is 8 months old today. I’m having some serious writer’s block, so if this is too rambly I’m sorry. It’s pretty much just a lazy day in the Merrick household today. I was going to clean the house today and I just don’t feel like it. I picked up the living room, so I at least did something. Dogs are getting a bath tonight I think, so that’s about as much excitement as we are getting ourselves into. Anyway, I think I’m going to go and find something productive to do. Thank you guys so much for all your love and support as always. Much love.