The struggle is real…


Okay to give you a little background story, my last period was in December of last year. It is now March 17, 2018 and I’m 87 days in. That’s right, 87. I’ve finally has some sort of spotting/bleeding today, so I’m waiting to see where the hell that leads. I’m so over this. i cannot begin to even describe to you how much I just wanna have a goddamn period. Of course we want babies, but I sorta need to know if my period is going to be able to happen in order to plan for it. This may be way too much information for some of you, but at this point you probably should be used to it. For the longest time I’ve been so irritated. Anyway, I just wanted to give an update here, because there hasn’t been one in God knows how long. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.


It’s been awhile


Hello. Yes I’m still living I swear. It’s been really crazy lately with everything going on. We are still loving our new apartment, Toby hasn’t had a single Pica incident since being here (knock on wood, fingers crossed, all that jazz), Shatzie turned a year old last year, and just a lot of crazy. Turns out I have to take Marcus and I’s Colorado vacation alone this year, because of his work. Luckily enough, his mom is coming to get me and bring me home. I’ve been having some issues with my body as of late, which I won’t go into detail here, so look out for a fertility post (I hope). I started helping my aunts with their pottery business which I will link all their social medias down below, which is nice being able to have a job again even if it’s working from home. I’ll be doing some editing of the blog, so look out for those changes as well. I’m going to try and get back into this as much as possible, so bear with me. Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.


Happy New year everyone! Unfortunately, I’m starting off today with the stomach flu. All credit for that goes to my tiny human godson because he had and or has a mild version (still love him though). We celebrated all yesterday in bed stuffing our faces full of good food, Netflix, and lots of tea. So fancy I know. So, what do I want to accomplish this year. Let’s see…hit 3,000 views on here (we made it to 2,000 last year), have a baby (yes I’m still going to say it until it happens), grow my business, and I guess just live happily with my tiny family. 2017 brought us a good year that’s for sure, but we did have our challenges. We celebrated 2 years of marriage, got Shatzie, celebrated our first Thanksgiving and Christmas in our new place, celebrated both Toby’s and Shatzie’s birthdays, went on vacation, moved (twice cause my parents house counts), started a new business, traveled home from vacation at 45mph (not fun), and so much more. I think our good outweighs the bad for sure, but there were some struggles I haven’t mentioned. Anyway, here’s to 2018, I hope it’s a good one for us, and for all of you as well. From my tiny family to yours, Happy New Year. Much love.


Infertility is hard. I’m pretty sure that it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. If I get bashed for posting this, so what. At this point I don’t really care. I had to swallow a very bitter pill yesterday afternoon, when my best friend came and told me she was pregnant again. Let me just address this real quick. In no way am I upset with her, and yes I am excited for her. Now that I have that out of the way, let me continue. I broke down in front of her and her husband, and I completely lost it after they left. She knows, and is in no way upset with me. She actually supported ME, when it was supposed to be the other way around. All I wanted for Christmas was two pink lines, which obviously the universe decided I wasn’t going to get once again. Yes I will be there for the birth and everything in between for this baby. Yes I will love this new life just as much as I love her others. Is this going to be hard on me? Absofuckinglutely. But, she is my best friend, and I’m going to love her through it. So go ahead, tear me down, call me selfish for writing this, tell me I’m broken cause I’m not pregnant (already heard that more than once). But don’t you think for one second that I’m going to not stand up for myself. I’m trying my damndest to have a baby, even if it is just one. Please for the love of all that is holy, don’t give me any advice on what I should and shouldn’t be doing, because right now I don’t need or want to hear it. All I need is someone to listen and let me vent. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Mental meltdown

Well, this was not how I wanted this evening to go. I have been having a good day all day. Shipped out a package full of product, and spent time with my best friend and nephew. I came home to relax, and then my parents came to visit and grab a crock pot. That’s when it all went downhill. I ended up having a mental overload and breakdown, fighting with my mom, and on top of all that a few dozen tears and an anxiety attack. We are all okay now I hope, but I most definitely didn’t want it to go that way. Now I’m sitting here with a cup of tea trying to calm myself down, because I feel sick (thanks anxiety). I know I don’t really ever write about this stuff in the moment, or after it’s happened, but this time I needed to. That’s the thing I hate most about anxiety I think, is that it can strike HARD at anytime. Plus when you’re holding things in and just have a whirl of emotions, things can get scary or hectic fast. This is when I wish Marcus was home. Anyway, I just thought I’d write it down, and maybe try and make myself feel better. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Winter is here

Well I woke up this morning to a shit ton of snow. I’m not too happy about it because I hate being cold. If you know me personally, this is indeed a true statement. Maintenance guys have been plowing all the parking lots all morning, and now you can’t even tell, which sucks. Also, since I missed my delivery yesterday, I’ve plopped myself down in the living room with a cup of tea, and am currently stalking Fedex. I’m not really stalking them, just keeping a good eye out (a girl needs her product okay?). Marcus is at work until hopefully 4ish, and then we’ve got dinner with the fam. Christmas shopping for us is next week, and then we gotta wrap it all. So far, so good pretty much. I’ve been working away this morning while doing my waiting (12 years of it, in Azkaban! Nobody? No?). It’s a Harry Potter reference guys. Anyway, I should probably start getting ready soon, so that way when my stuff actually comes, I look presentable for my live video instead of bedhead and pj’s. That and I need to take Toby dog outside. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Feeling better

I’ve started to feel tons better then I have been. I was able to get out of bed and clean the house which was nice, and was able to work and got an order filled today. Now I’m waiting for Marcus to get home, and I think he’s bringing dinner too. Things have been going okay besides Marcus working a ton. It’s been snowing here on and off for the last week I think, and so lots of tea and snuggling for me. I’m super close to 2,000 viewers on here, so thank you so much for that! I’m currently sitting in bed watching Netflix and debating on whether to take a hot bath or not. My UTI is still making me just a bit sore, but I do feel good enough to get up and move around that’s for sure. Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.