The struggle is real…

We wait

We had a really good day today. Marcus is feeling tons better, and we got to see two of my nieces and spend the day with them. We even did a big grill out with burgers and hot dogs up at my parents today. It’s been a tough road lately, but we are pushing through. I’ve got some stuff coming up on Friday, as I await the outcome of a important test. I’ll have more on that when I know more, and then I will post about it here either way. I’m not going to give too much about it away, since I am trying to be on the down low. But other then that, I’m also feeling much better. Anyway, I’m going to get back to relaxing since it was a really long and productive day for us. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.

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Disney kid

I’m finally starting to feel a little better then I have been. Bad news is, now poor Marcus is sick. It’s a never-ending cycle I swear. Anyway, after tomorrow he’s got Monday and Tuesday off which he needs really bad. He is currently passed out next to me while I watch Disney movies in bed. He even brought home chipotle for dinner tonight because they brought burritos to his work. It was a really nice treat, considering all that’s been happening. I’m currently waiting for my next cycle to come around, which I’m sure is on its way. Anyway, I’m going to snuggle in bed and continue my Disney movies. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Heartache

It’s been a really tough day today. Woke up still sick, and then get a call from my mom telling me that a cousin I was very close with died this morning. I’ve been crying on and off today, and it’s pretty much been a blur since this morning/afternoon. Marcus and I packed up all our dinner stuff and the dogs and took it to my parents so we could try and aid their suffering with homemade tomato bacon bisque soup and reuben sandwiches. This was literally so sudden and unexpected that it took us all by surprise. On the bright side of things, Marcus will more then likely be clearing a $1,000 check next week. He’s been working so much that it’s been hard to find time to spend together, but we do what we can. But now we are back at home, showered, and I’m back underneath my cocoon of blankets and pillows. I’m probably going to end up either making myself some tea, or have Marcus make me a cup since my joints and muscles are still pretty sore. Anyway, I’m going to stop this here before another wave of tears. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Floating away

Whilst being stuck in bed with the flu day two or three (hell if I remember), I have been talking to my mom in law. She made us an appointment next month to go do a 90 minute float in a sensory deprivation float tank. If you’ve ever seen Stranger Things, you know exactly which scene in particular I’m talking about. If not, I’ll give you the basic rundown. Pretty much what it is, how it works, all that. So the tank itself is a lightless soundproof tank that has a really high amount of epsom salt content filled with salt water that is skin temperature warm. Pretty much you get in and relax as you float. The buoyancy in your body as well as in the water helps you to float. You aren’t completely submerged so your face is still above water. I’ll include a sample picture down below. Since I suffer from anxiety, she thinks it just might help me reset myself, which I don’t disagree. So pretty much 90 full minutes of complete and utter silence which to be honest I could use right about now. I’m actually really excited to do it, even though water hasn’t been the greatest to me in the past. I think it will be really interesting to experience, so after we are done I’ll be sure to update you guys on how it went. Anyway, I’m going to end this here so I can stuff my face with food and shower. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

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Here’s the website if anybody is interested!

http://easyfloat.com/getting-started/

Sick and uncomfortable 

So sorry for no post yesterday. I’ve been stuck in bed with the flu all day so I’m pretty miserable. I’m waiting for Marcus to wake up at the moment so I know whether a pizza delivery is happening or not. I’ve been watching Netflix all day and have barely moved out of bed because everything hurts. It’s been quite the loop of an on and off fever which has been driving me nuts to say the least. Shatzie and Toby have been curled up with me all day while Marcus worked. It’s taking pretty much all the energy I have to type this out as funny as that sounds, but if you’ve ever had the flu you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, I’m going to end this here so I can get some more test. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.

Happy mommy’s day

Happy mother’s day! We are at my parents house celebrating with my mom and oma today. I even got a card from Shatzie and Toby complete with a pawprint signature. I’ll leave the picture down below. What I really wanted to talk about and address this mother’s day though is the other types of mommies out there. There are fur mommies like myself who’s babies have four paws, mommies who have suffered the loss of having to give a baby back to heaven, and of course those of us who are trying to become mommies for the first time. Today is a day of appreciation for all mommies and we should include each and every one. Our time will come I promise. The journey is hard and trying. Through all the shots, temp taking, medication consummation, IVF, and so much more. I wanna especially thank my momma and my mom in law for being the best of the best. I love you guys and thank you so much for the unconditional love and support you’ve given. Anyway, I’m gunna continue to spend the day with my mommy. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love and happy mother’s day. 

Double down

I hate feeling like this. I hate the sinking feeling of being in a fight. It wasn’t a good start to my day seeing as I’m sick and didn’t sleep well. I’m babysitting at the moment and I am just ready to go home. I hate being overly exhausted and sick. I know I’m probably ranting and sounding bitchy, but that’s just today. That’s just me in a nutshell today. I wanna crawl back in bed and sleep it all away. Damn you depression. Damn you anxiety. Damn all of it. It’s been a constant low test reading too and that’s just not what I wanna see or read. I’m ready for today to just be over. Anyway, I am needing to go chase after my godson. Thank you guys for all the love and support as always. Much love.