Heartbreak

Infertility is hard. I’m pretty sure that it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life. If I get bashed for posting this, so what. At this point I don’t really care. I had to swallow a very bitter pill yesterday afternoon, when my best friend came and told me she was pregnant again. Let me just address this real quick. In no way am I upset with her, and yes I am excited for her. Now that I have that out of the way, let me continue. I broke down in front of her and her husband, and I completely lost it after they left. She knows, and is in no way upset with me. She actually supported ME, when it was supposed to be the other way around. All I wanted for Christmas was two pink lines, which obviously the universe decided I wasn’t going to get once again. Yes I will be there for the birth and everything in between for this baby. Yes I will love this new life just as much as I love her others. Is this going to be hard on me? Absofuckinglutely. But, she is my best friend, and I’m going to love her through it. So go ahead, tear me down, call me selfish for writing this, tell me I’m broken cause I’m not pregnant (already heard that more than once). But don’t you think for one second that I’m going to not stand up for myself. I’m trying my damndest to have a baby, even if it is just one. Please for the love of all that is holy, don’t give me any advice on what I should and shouldn’t be doing, because right now I don’t need or want to hear it. All I need is someone to listen and let me vent. Thank you guys so much for all the love and support as always. Much love.

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Author: growingupamerrick

Hello everybody! My name is Mariah, I'm 24 years old, married to my best friend, and have two amazing furbabies. I started this blog to fill you in on what goes on inside the Merrick household as well as our lives. We are also on our TTC (trying to conceive) journey, and I've got pretty regular updates on that. Hope you guys enjoy, and happy reading!

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