Hey readers. So this is more of a rant and rave bloggy post. I notice there were a lot of babies born and pregnancy announcements and cutsie photos of babies all over social media. Meanwhile, those ladies trying to become mommies are struggling. As for me, well I’m on the “sorta trying” boat. What the shit is the sorta trying boat?! Now don’t get me wrong, I love seeing those things and congrats to all those mommies who got their Christmas wishes. Also, don’t think that I don’t love Marcus at all because I love him very much. But when he tells me we’re “sorta trying” now I’m a little confused. Does that mean we only baby dance when convenient? I mean, I thought (key word here) that we were both on board for little feet. I guess I was so wrong. So tell me ladies, what does “sorta trying” mean to you? Brittany told me men get baby fever too and that will change, but somehow I just don’t see it changing. I’ve been mulling this over and over in my head all day while trying to do laundry. I’m so tired of “sorta trying”. Either we are or we aren’t and I feel like I have to be okay with “sorta”. I don’t wanna be okay with it! I also don’t wanna pressure or fight about it either because the last thing I wanna do ever is push him away. I’m sorry if this pisses anybody off or offends anybody. Let me tell you that it is so hard to look at someone who is having a baby or has babies and tell them you are happy for them. Even though you genuinely may be happy for them, it hurts. Grin and bare it. I mean I think it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do considering that I wanna be a mom so bad. Anyway, from the bottom of my heart I am truly excited for those starting families or whatnot, it’s just been a day. Also, another low day for me on the monitor so I’m pretty sure what amped up this post. Much love to my struggling ladies, as well as my mommy friends.