Let’s be real here…

Hello everybody. I’m gunna take this blog to talk to all those wives who are trying to become mommies just like me. Let’s talk, shall we? How many of you are bummed every month when AF (Aunt Flow) comes to visit? Yes girl, I see you because I am you. How many of you are happy for the people who just find out they are pregnant but at the same time it hurts, and you get jealous cause hell why isn’t it you? Yes girl, I see you too because yet again you and I are one in the same. Don’t get me wrong, the happiness outweighs the hurt and sorrow because it’s not me this time. Correction, it’s not US this time. Are y’all sick of hearing “it will happen when it happens” yet? Cause let me tell you something, I sure as shit am. Granted I know that when it is the right time it will happen, but damn I don’t wanna be reminded. Yes, I will be overjoyed and grateful and excited when I snag those two little pink lines because I’ve waited, no WE’VE waited so long to get them. To all my ladies who are mommies or becoming mommies out there, I love you and am so excited for you, truly I am. But, I’m ready for my turn. I’m ready to stop taking tests every damn morning to see if I’m ovulating or not so maybe we can have a chance. I’m ready to stop getting my hopes up just to watch them all come crashing down. Today is a break day for me. I know I’m hardly ever negative on here, but damnit it’s not easy. I love my life, I love my husband, I love Toby dog, but I feel like there is just a big hole inside of me where two tiny little feet should be. Do you understand where I’m coming from? And I know that for some of us, it isn’t just that we aren’t pregnant yet that bothers us. It’s PCOS, it’s infertility, it’s trying and trying and trying and then nothing FOR MONTHS ON END. It’s having irregular periods so you don’t even know what’s going on, or when you’re going to bleed next, or if you even are going to bleed at all. It’s being scared to take another pregnancy test because you don’t want to be let down by another no. But then, when you get that yes finally, it all seems worth the hurt and heartache and struggle. Some of us may never get that yes, some of us may but all in all pregnancy or trying to get there isn’t easy. So for my sisters out there going through the struggle, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

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